A little background on me... I have a diagnosis of ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. After my mom passed away in December of 2008, I left my job as a Network Administrator and lost my health insurance. I sought assistance through MHMR, yes, good 'ole government care!! They do not prescribe their adult patients stimulant medications for ADHD, so for almost three years I went untreated for my ADHD. I finally read about a non-stimulant medication called Straterra and talked my psychiatrist at MHMR to prescribe it to me in March of 2012. One of the rare side effects of Straterra is suicidal ideations. I began having suicidal ideations in April and realized that I needed help. I made arrangements for my three minor children to stay in our apartment with my significant other of one year whom they trusted and liked very much. I checked myself into the psych unit at Methodist Richardson hospital to seek treatment. Once off of the Straterra and on something that would actually work for me, I felt myself again. In my eyes, this was a good thing! I was proactive right?? I was doing the right thing wasn't I??
The school guidance counselor was "concerned" about my depression because she heard that I was crying in a meeting with my youngest son's teacher and principal on the day that the ultimate decision was made to move him to another school that was closer to where we live. I was sad... it was very sad because we had a relationship with these people and I did not want to move him from all the friends and school staff that he had known for the past five years since his older brother had been there in the 2nd grade. Of course I was sad!!
So, while I was in the hospital, CPS called my significant other and requested that he gather my childrens' things because their fathers were picking them up to stay with them "while I was in the hospital". They had no court order to make such demands and still do not have a court order to this day!! We had to track down my 8 year old's dad because he has not been in the picture. When we did finally track him down, he was not happy about being used as a "safety net" until I got better. He did realize that had he not accepted the responsibility of fatherhood, at least for the breif time he had commited to, our son would have gone into foster care. A safety net.... a safety net???? Really?????
CPS never met with my children to talk to them at all. While I was still in the hospital, I was accused of being mentally unstable by CPS, which I might add never bothered to meet with me either. The case notes from the hospital psychiatrist didn't matter either, which stated that I was more than willing to work with CPS and did have a bad reaction to the medication I was on and an above average IQ.
So now I'm "mentally unstable", according to CPS who got their credentials and the letters M.D. behind their name from somewhere.... where I have yet to figure out!! If I wasn't mentally unstable before, they were sure trying to make me that way. Because while in the hospital, I was told by them that I was going to be without my children for at least 6 months to a year!!! Really?? Because I checked myself into the hospital and was doing the right thing?? Should I have sat on the couch, continued to eat Bon Bons, while watching TV and also started to ignore my children??? Oh wait, maybe I should have also waited until I was suicidal enough to actually kill myself!! Would that have been better??
I still took care of my kids, but I was on the couch a lot. My kids didn't go unloved or without attention because they would sit on the couch with me and cuddle!! Yeah, that is such horrible parenting!!! What the hell was I thinking??? I didn't want to be on the couch because my kids were used to me running around outside with them playing baseball, nerf wars, hide-and-go-seek, and whatever else they wanted to do. I hated the fact that all I had energy for was the couch, which is why I needed to be proactive and check myself in. So for CPS to "remove" my children from my apartment without even meeting them or me.... for them to tell me I wouldn't have them for 6 months to a year..... for them to make me feel like a bad mom..... are they really here to help or just judge based on a "feeling" based on biased opinion?? Is that what they call help?? I don't need their kind of help!! No thanks!! And through all of this, they sure did try to make me crazy.... the most sane of people would have gone a little crazy through all of this!! I have managed to stay in school.... I'm taking five classes and am maintaining a B average in all five classes!! What more proof do they need that I am mentally stable?? They have had doctors write several letters about me, all of which said I am symptom free and have a good positive attitude. Yet, they change the game and change the hoop of which I am supposed to jump through???? So, they call it help and change the rules..... and they are supposedly here to help all involved???
One of the sad things about this.... there is no one to govern what CPS can or can't do!! That's right people, they don't answer to anyone but the courts!!!!! And the people that they aim for are the people that can't afford to take them to court!!!! Another really sad fact that I would like to point out.... is that they actually get paid more money from our government when there are more kids in foster care!! Now, my kids aren't in foster care and they are "voluntarily" at their dads' houses right now, but they were trying very hard to make sure that my 8 year old ended up in foster care and not with family before we were finally able to track his sperm donor down. The same sperm donor that had only seen our son two times in five years!! The same person that was pissed he was being used as a "safety net" until I started "feeling better" and our son got to come home!! Remember when I said CPS doesn't have a court order to keep my kids from me or out of the house?? It was also strongly "recommended" that I not take my court papers stating that I have custody to pick up my children. If I did, "I would never see them again" and they would end up in foster care and neither parent would see them again!!
There is much more to our story and I will share that with you as I piece back together the time line. This saga has been going on since mid-April of this year 2012. It has been a very painful one, one that will hopefully be at an end soon. But I am not going to forget and I am going to make sure that as many people know the truth as possible so that at the very least, an agency is put in place that CPS will have to report to and prove things up to instead of just doing whatever the hell they want and tearing families apart. Don't get me wrong, I am sure that they have done some good and I wouldn't want to do their jobs. There is such a thing as actually helping or just abusing your powers because there is no one there to stop you.
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