Tuesday, December 18, 2012

20 Hours and Counting!!


I am not sure how much more I want to share on my blog since I am trying to bang my story out in an autobiography.  The days spent waiting for tomorrow, the 19th of December to arrive, when I can go get Connor, have been very difficult.  I was fortunate enough to have enough school work and studying to do with the end of the semester drawing to a close.  Despite all of the drama and turmoil in our lives this year, I managed to do very well in the five classes I took this semester.  I even managed a B in my honors anatomy and physiology class!  The B in that class and the fact that I was finished with school for the semester was able to float me along a couple more days.  Now, even though I have much to do to get ready for Connor’s return tomorrow, I can hardly focus.  All I have wanted to do since I received the phone call November 27th is to go get my babies!  Trying to focus on any one thing is like putting a steak eight feet in front of a Pit Bull with a six inch leash.  I am there, but I just cannot obtain what I want yet.  I have roughly twenty hours to go until I can hold my youngest son in my arms and smother him in hugs and kisses!  No, it is not as difficult as not knowing one way or the other whether or not they are even able to come back home, but they are right at my fingertips and I just can’t touch them yet.  My heart is about to explode and my emotions are a mixture of pure joy and doubt.  The doubt comes from not believing I am really getting them back until they are in my arms.  Tomorrow, when I am holding ¼ of our single unit, my face will hurt from smiling!  We have made it this far, tomorrow is the beginning of a new chapter.

 

Today, I started to write my autobiography.  It will be a challenge to produce an autobiography that people will want to read, but I assure you, this is not just any story.  Anyone that has known me since I was a young girl knows that my entire life has been filled with trials and tribulations.  Such a life would make most people succumb to a life of drugs or worse yet, to commit suicide.  I have had moments where I wanted to give up, but my will to keep pushing through it all has come from my three wonderful boys.  What we have been through this past year, no one should have to go through.  We made it through…. Now we can make it through anything life throws our way.  We are stronger, better, and smarter than we have ever been!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

HAPPY 13TH!!


My middle son’s birthday was yesterday, November 30th so his dad had a party for him today at a park near their house.  I was a bit hurt that I was not asked to help plan it or invited to cut the cake, hand him presents to open, or lend a hand with anything else during the party, but I understand.  I was able to be with our son for 12 years and planned all of his parties because his dad was not that involved.  I invited his dad to several of the birthday parties, but he was usually unable to attend.  Today was actually a nice change!  It was great to see his dad so involved and happy being able to put this together.  The party was spectacular and the sight of all of the bikes racing on the field was exciting to watch!  Our son is happy and knows he is loved, so that is all that matters.  Needless to say I did not stay hurt long and allowed myself to enjoy the party without having to clean up or make a fuss about planning it.  I was able to just show up, enjoy my son to the fullest and leave with joy in my heart knowing that he had a good day.  Happy 13th my little man!! I love you so very much!! xoxo