Thursday, January 31, 2013

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

Ok, so I wasn't going to keep writing much on my blog about the whole CPS and my 8 year old "sperm donor" story, but sometimes you just need things documented.  Before my 8 year old came home, CPS told me that I would have to take him out to Kemp (1.5 hours away from where we live) to continue his therapy with his counselor, who is only an LPC, instead of taking my son back to the PhD he was seeing before all this crap with CPS happened.  I took him after the holidays and all that happened was the counselor told me that "If I even SUSPECT any child abuse, I have to call CPS.  If your son misses an appointment, YOU will have to pay the copay, NOT his dad.  I'm sure you want to tell me your side of the story, but we don't have time today."  He said these things to me after my son's dad had been taking him to this counselor and was talking about me.  I told the counselor that I would prefer not to tell my side of the story, but show him because I believe in showing people my character rather than bad mouthing the other person.  That same day, my son was scheduled in Dallas for a second psychiatric evaluation at Children's Hospital where I had taken him previously and was turned away because he was on CHIPS for health coverage since I wasn't able to find his dad to get his insurance information.  The second evaluation was scheduled an hour after his counseling appointment, so there was no way for me to make it there.  I made the decision to take my son instead to a real psychiatrist who can evaluate him, build a relationship with him and see him on a regular basis.

After scheduling an appointment for my son with Dr. Minirth, their office had to call my son's dad for consent to treat him.  When they got in touch with his dad, his dad would not consent!!  He assumed that we were going to put my son back on medicine, which is not the first thing that Dr. Minirth does.  There are natural things he can do to help as well as work books that have exercises in them that can help us minimize the amount of my son's anxiety.  His dad called me after I left the office and yelled at me for not taking my son to the second evaluation and when he said that he told me in advance about the appointment that should have been enough time to be able to get our son to his appointment.  The counseling appointment was also scheduled way in advance, actually it is a standing appointment and I can't be two places at once.  When I called Children's to reschedule, I was unable to because I was not in the system, so his dad would have had to call to reschedule.  When I call his dad, he does not answer my calls, so I decided to text him and that way it would be documented that I contacted him too. 

When his dad called me today after leaving the psychiatrist's office and after his initial verbal thrashing upon me, I told him he can Google the doctor and he said "I don't have to talk to you about this and I got my dental information this morning, but since you have an attitude, I don't have to talk to you about that either!"  Now, interestingly enough, I have sent a few different text messages about obtaining dental insurance information for our son so I can take him to the dentist, but never received a response.  His dad called the other night for the second time since December 19th when I picked our son up to come back home and he told our son he would text me the information, but he never did.  Today he claimed he is unable to receive or send texts from his phone even though he has acknowledged he can do so from his phone.  Today was obvious that some how after all these years, he is still finding a way to make this about us instead of our son.  Once he told me he didn't have to talk to me about the dental insurance or the psychiatrist because of my "attitude", I hung up.  Interestingly enough, I have an "attitude" because I spoke up for my son and myself against him for the first time EVER.  He is so harsh with his words that I have always walked on egg shells because the way he talks to me is very intimidating.  The CPS caseworker made the comment the day she closed the case, "I know the way he talks to me about you.  I can only imagine how he talk to you."  Yet, if his dad calls CPS again, our son goes to foster care and neither one of us will see him.  I don't think it really matters to his dad because he called our son on Christmas day and for a second time Wednesday, January 23rd.  He told our son he was going to get him that weekend and he never called or showed up.  For me, if our son went to foster care, it would be the end of the world.  It is impossible to work with someone that is unwilling to work with me!!  How do you force someone to be civil and co-parent with you if they won't even try and just do all they can to make things harder for the other parent??  You can't!

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